Hope

What word did you select to be your traveling companion in 2012? What gifts did this word bring?

What word will you choose to guide you through 2013? What do you hope it will bring into your life? Reverb12 prompt#29

2012’s one little word was love.  2011’s word was joy. Both were chosen in response to wishing the following year would be better than the previous.

2010 was spent either drugging my son’s mental illness into submission or being the object of his unmedicated torture.  LIAR!  THIEF! DUMB! TheRAPIST! Words were spray painted on the kitchen wall, my bedroom door, the hallway.  I was shot with a BB gun and rubberbands, hit with flying boots, bowls of hot soup, bags of cat food, attacked with snarls of f*cking fat bitch!  I was often locked out of the house, once barefoot with an unleashed dog. He told me all the time, “I wish you were dead so I could have the insurance money.” Also, I was estranged from my daughter.  She believed my son’s “behavior issues” were all resulting from my failure as a parent. I decided JOY would help make 2011 better.

And it did. My son ran away to live with his sister in Boston (she is a saint) and was eventually hospitalized for the 3rd time. He came home and we had a lovely, golden summer.  But then I had bronchitis (in August!), my favorite kitty was hit by a car, I broke two toes, and the kitchen ceiling fell on my head. And, of course, my breast cancer diagnosis – I was mostly sure at my September 23 check up, but it was confirmed by the pathology report on October 10. Surgery, chemo, support, kindness, generosity. My daughter and I gradually started to reconcile.  Yay 2011!  Yay joy!  I wanted the good stuff to continue, so for 2012, I chose love.

2012 has been a good year.  Radiation sucked, but I like my doctor.  Reconstruction surgery, continuing reconciliation with my kids, healing for me and my son, support, kindness, generosity, love. Love. Love.

Do all things with love. Of faith, hope, love; love is the greatest. All you need is love. Love is the answer. With our love we can save the world – certainly Patricia, and Joe, and Rachel. Love is the strongest medicine.

Oh yes. I want the good stuff to continue. So for 2013, I choose hope.

Where there is life, there is hope.  There is life here.

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8 Responses to Hope

  1. Lala says:

    Thanks for visiting my blog! In answer to your suggestion to get another counselor, I’m afraid I’m part of a series of groups, and I’m pretty much stuck with what I have. No worries, I’m almost through it, and intend to carry only the good things I’ve learned forward.

    I’m intrigued by assigning one word to the coming year. I can tell you that 2012’s word was MAINTENANCE! But I haven’t come up with just one word for 2013…. I’m leaning toward ENJOY!

  2. I guess my word is curiosity, because I think curiosity trumps most other human emotions, including fear. Happy New Year to you, Patti, and a hundred good wishes.

  3. annie says:

    This is beautiful, Patti. I am so sorry for the tough times, but so glad to hear of the reconciliations and may your new year be full of hope and love and joy!

  4. Oh, Patti, I am forever in awe of the strength you find in yourself. I hope that the promise of your hope becomes real in your life in 2013.

  5. kathy says:

    I just found you through a comment on another blog and am I ever happy to be here! I’ve got a 23-year-old mentally ill son. I will be pouring through your entries, when I get a chance after work today. Looking forward to learning about others in my boat!

  6. kathy says:

    p.s. I had my breast cancer diagnosis in 2010. I’m starting to suspect that mental illness in our children causes breast cancer in their mothers!

  7. You are an amazing woman: strong, loving, and hopeful.

    My word for 2013 is Gentleness.

  8. How was the dance class?

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